Never again
My eyes are open but I cant see
I know what has happened but I cant let it be
I see what I've done to myself because of you
But I could never hold a grudge
As much as I could want to hate you, I could never.
The need is what keeps me hanging on
Blood and lust immortal with no regrets
Lifeless and dead without my soul...
For all I've fought for I wont stop
For all I believed in, it can never end
Never again.

One Regret
I had the prettiest eyes in the world
There was always something about my hands
I had the best love in the world
Nothing could have ever changed

I cried, I smiled, we been through thick and thin
Countless tears I've shed
For all the blood that I spilt for you
I could never regret it for a second

You are worth to me more than diamonds and gold
Nothing material could be
No one could understand what you've done to me
And no one will ever see

I tried so hard to keep it all in-tact
I tried for so long
I knew one day that this would end
Forever is never long enough

Tears are funny, they can't depict the pain
Blood can't signify how I feel
Nothing in this world could tell you how you mean to me
I had everything but I took it foregranted

I could never regret all the tears and sweat I've shed
I could never regret anything at all
There's only one regret that I could ever hold
I just never could have appreciated you enough

Hanging onto a thread
Shut up and hold me it will all be okay
I suppose nothing matters now
Nothing ever mattered to begin with
Now nothing matters and I'm left with nothing
So wont you shut up and hold me
Shut up and kiss me once more
Hanging onto a thread that we know we can mend
Why wont you let me help?
Why wont you just talk

I'm sorry for the things I've done
Sorry for all the things I've said
Another lie, another tear
What could go worse?
Another bruise on my leg
Another cut on my wrist
Another drink, another smoke
What could go worse?
Blinded by emotion as always from before
From love to repulse
Its all just not right

Shut up and hold me
I wish I could just hold you
And kiss you, and tell you it will all be okay
Let you take away the pain and agony once more
We've been through so much, and here we are
Hanging onto a thread, too stubborn to mend
When it falls apart, and we fall crashing down
Wont we regret we didn't try to fix it
Why do we just take each other foregranted?
Why do we never try to understand?
Why do we cry silent tears and speak blindly
So naive I've been in the past
And I will forever live to regret these days..

Seemed real to me
In this world there's real and make-believe
It all seemed real to me

I loved you now we stand so far apart
All the pain just fell on me
You cannot say I never cared for you like I do
It was always so real to me

Forever is never long enough
Pain in my head just so much pain
I cried for nights and I know I always cared
I wish that you'd just see

At times I thought it was all a mistake
Maybe we were just blinded by love
You moved on, but I'll never let go
I can try to understand
I can plead and beg
But I know things will never be the same

All this time and I'm left with nothing
All this time and all the tears I've cried
Keep what I gave you, you can't give it back
You've always been so real to me

You taught me more than I could ever learn
You've shown me more than any eyes could see
I'll cry and lie, and if we turn back the hands of time
It'll all still be real to me

You made the impossible so possible
You made all my dreams come true
So in the final hour I beg that you would see
All you've meant to me...

...You've always been so real to me.

Lifeless
No one for me
Life always unfair
So much pain, misery
Grief in my heart
Memories torturous
Anger, sorrow, misery
Life without a cause
Wandering alone, so meaningless...

Forever questioning possibilities
Am I walking a straight path?
Would it be better if I turned now?
Questions and risks
Answers and problems
Anger and hatred
Happiness and love
Then abolished...

A final warm smile
Even though it was a lie
A final farewell, a final kiss
The final petal falls from a blood red rose
The final drop of rain sets on the concrete path
The final glimpse of sunlight disappears behind the mountains...

What is left is nothing
Nothing and no one
No thoughts of present or future
The past left behind and nothing to continue
At the edge of the cliff, no more paces to move
I felt your grip ease off from my hand
And I became lifeless

Too much good intentions
Shoulders to cry on
Ears to just listen
Hold me tighter
Hold me closer
Give me a warm bed
Hold my hand
Just look at me and smile

I would give anything...

You should have said
You should have knew
You should have called
You should have understood

Give me a million sleepless nights
It wouldn't measure up
The thorns of dead roses
My life deemed worthless?

And so we carry on...

Ramblings of Misery
Here is my confession
You are my obsession
f**k wanting, its depression
Makes me want a session
I wont go around messin
I love you so much
I just need to be touched
I need to held and heard
So many things I have learnt
In so little time everything fell
And right now Azra I'm going through hell
We been through so much, we'll never end
Come back home, thus my heart may mend
Its killing me so much I'd much rather die
When your by my side I feel like I can fly
But without your presence all I do is cry
I feel so useless, stupid and blind
Its only been 16 days I'm going out of my mind
Without you, within you, with you is all I need
For your happiness I'd do anything, die and bleed
I'll hold you close, because your all there is to me
Without you here I cant emote, think, feel, breathe or see
I feel so sick each day I just feel worse
It's like without you here my life is cursed
I want to bury myself to end all the pain
I miss the times we just stood there in the rain
Hand in hand telling each other all we'd need to know
I need you, I miss you, My precious angel I love you so
Its crazy but this is how I feel
This love is need, dependance so real
I can write poems or rhymes
Remind you of the good times
I can cry I can bleed
I can beg you not to leave
I can whisper your name to myself
Praise the lord, and hate life itself
Cry each night or inflict lots of pain
I'd do anything to have you back again
August 20 is just too far away
Without holding you day by day
Every second is an hour or so it seems
Come back to me and fulfill all my dreams
Because your all i ever wanted and needed
For you I cried, loved, gave and bleeded
I'm going crazy Azra I cant take it no more
I hate feeling this way, My heart is so sore
I just want to drive far far away
I want us to live together one day
I want to marry you, I need to and that's the way its going to be
My life is pointless without you, nothing is the same, cant you see?
It's like hell on earth when your not with me
I just cry, I'm crying now as I type carefree
I cant care about anything or study
I cant do anything without you by me
I just dont know what else to say
We will marry and have 12 kids one day
Live the happiest life thats best for us
And the rest of the world can go get f**ked
I dont care anymore about nothing other than you
And I suppose thats what makes this love so true
Its just crazy from the start, how much we both grew
Nothing will ever change the way I feel for you
I love you azra, only you for all my life
I'll be there by you through the thick and thin
Because you've given me underscribable love within
I cant be without you, I need you for all eternity
Only when your beside me do I feel total serenity
I've never written verses so quick and with ease
Because everything here is so true, Azra please
I'll do anything babe I just need you my love
Without you, I'll never reach the heavens above
I need you to guide me, take care of me, Just be you
That's all I'll ever need, and I'll be here for you too
One day I will undoubtedly come to your door and call your name
Asking "Azra do you want to spend the rest of your life with Husein?"
And if its a yes, your a murderer my sweety baby
Because I'll only accept yes, never say no or maybe
You mean everything to me, thats all I need you to know
Without you Azra I'm hurting and I've sunk so damn low
I cant study I cant think I cant function whatsoever
Unless you come back and hold me so tightly forever
I need you, Everything you feel is mutual and beyond
Nothing of this earth could ever break our beautiful bond
You just mean the world, and I fall apart literally my zena
If you aren't here, its like, f**k everything life is whatever
I want to take you to the heavans on earth just hold my hand
I'll do anything you desire to be your one and only perfect man
I love you so much Azra I cant ever fully open up
Because even if I could talk forever and never shut up
Even if I wrote poems or talked for eternity
Nothing could ever describe what you mean to me
And even I could never understand how much I love you
I can only know what I feel and its so much and so new
To me, this whole love thing is like ecstacy
All I need is you to be right beside me
These are my poetic ramblings made just for you
I could stop I can keep going but one thing stays true
And thats the devotion
Endless amounts of emotion
The bleeding and needing
All the loving and feeling
I just want to collapse without you here, I feel so ill
Nothing could describe the pain and anger that I feel
But since your not here, I guess I'll just have to deal
With all the pain, I cant even eat food I NEED YOU
Allah ya allah you will never understand I feel so blue
I'm dying and crying and all I need is you
Your my medicine, my life and all
Your the giver of life, my eternal soul
You make me cry, make me smile, make me bleed so much
And out of everything to cure pain, all I need is your touch
I don't care I'll always love you, thats how its going to be
Why wont they realize by now? You are simply made for me
I have to be strong I suppose but enough is enough
Without you by me my life is so tough
All the pain
Nothing to gain
Just frustration and tears
And all I can do is fear
I can doubt, and cry and contemplate
I want you to come back before its too late
I'm scared and I'm cold and I just need you for life
Your everything to me, my soul, my heart, best friend and wife

Get back soon
Once a lifetime you meet a girl
At first she seems normal and plain
Until she takes you over, drives you insane
Its like constantly hammering within your brain
Thoughts of she
What could be?
The possibilities
What if? And Maybes?
Then one day you shiver when you see her walk by
And now its a sin for you to not say "hi"
And 13 months on and you've become such a team
She turned out to be the one to fulfill your every dream
It seems like yesterday when she was another face
Now she's your other half and no-one could take her place

So imagine one day she flew far away
She said she'd come back 2 months after may
Your trippin' but you try to maintain
Try to stay focus, you try to obtain
Your position but your going insane
Like Cyprus Hill, Insane in the Membrane
Like you'd give up everything, money and fame
You'd rip out your flesh if it would tame
All of the pain that you feel inside
You dont know what to do, you try to hide
You dont shave, Affection you crave
What happened to the days when she was so plain?

This is where I'm at, this is how I feel
It was all theoretic, but now its for real
I'm stressing
for the blessing
that was given to me
What's the point?
Pass the joint...
How could this happen to me?
I thought that I could always be on top
Whatever it is that came by, I'd deal with on the spot
Now I find myself throwing a month of sweat for a laptop
It's so messed up, I want you to know that
I'm not selfish but f**k this, I want you back
All the pain its ripping me apart
I couldn't maintain from the start
I tried to be strong and hold up a smile
In a week I couldn't hold that lie
Leaving me to ask you why?
Why wont you come back for me to hold
You're forever mine, or so I was told
It's killing me, do you want me to die?
Well I'm being honest, did you want me to lie?
Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I don't give a f**k
Get back soon, those are my last words to you
I'm not going to stress you with this s**t
One day you'll listen 2 these rhymes I spit
Then you'll see that I did care durin' these times
You'll look in my eyes and forgive me for crimes
You'll notice it all when you look at my rhymes

What happened to that girl I used to give s**t?
I close my eyes for five seconds and your my bitch
I f**ken feel like I dug a hole and jumped in
Is this what I deserve after all of my sin?
But I'll wait, Just wondering and reminicin
Abondoned highschool, foolin round 'n kissin
That girl that was plain, I'm head over heels
What the f**k is love? Is this how that s**t feels?
Because love is pain, then why am I still here?
Because you aint back, "Get back soon" ya hear?

Anticipation
Wrapped up in barbed wired chains
Bleeding my life, becoming insane
Piercing my flesh, unbearable pain
Hurting and throbbing unable to tame

I'll cut off my arm if you let me be
I'll burn my body if you would just see
I'll slit my throat if you'd understand
It's so painful waiting, No one can...

I need your touch, to see your smile
Yet its been so long, a thousand miles
You told me you love me, I hear you no more
A thousand miles away, and my heart is so sore

Waking up in pain forced to face another day
My heart is aching always feeling the same way
Crying to be held, feeling your breathe
Ripped appart inside, there isnt much left

I smile, but I bleed, each day is a fake
Needing you right now, the pain I cant take
I need to hold you tight
It is only what is right
Need to hear your voice
We just have no other choice
Than to wait and wait upon that very day
When you come into my life and take stresses away
Heal my wounds, let me be happy once more
And if I'll have to wait, I will; forevermore

If Huso was emo
Gangstas live off pussy
Emos cut their wrists
White boys act all wussy
After work, getting p**sed

If Husein was an emo
How wrong would that be?
He wont be called 'Huso'
All day, writing poetry

If I was an emo that'd be wrong
I wonder how all my friends would act
Contemplating death, not staying strong
Imagine that, an emo, skin colour black

If I was an emo, injecting heroin
Dying my hair black listening to Manson
Would I hate my lord or regret sins?
I don't think I would ever again be handsome

Its pathetic, the emotic way
How could they live in such self pity
How could you live day by day?
Self mutilation; pain devouring me

That's disgusting and haram
I'll never be so f**ked and disturbed
How could you take foregranted
What god gave you? It's so unheard

The 15th Day
Its been 15 days since you went away
I didn't leave much, had nothing to say
I have to stay strong, thats all I said
But I find myself each night crying in bed

From Cyprus, to Novi Pazar and Turkey
You don't realize how much it hurts me
One second your here, then Belgrad
And you don't realize I'm going mad

I breathe and live for only you
Without your presence I have no clue
No sense of direction, no eyes to see
What goes on here, everday hurting me

I'm not blaming you, only me
For not seeing all the opportunities
When you were around I took you foregranted
So stubborn and blind, my visions were slanted

I hate myself for the pain I caused
Where to begin? I have countless flaws
I can do nothing to make up for all the pain
Now I'm all alone, with only myself to blame

My heart has been as black as coal
You gave me your life, heart and soul
I just took it all without appreciation
All alone, I'm only left with contemplation

You swore by the heavens, oceans and birds
Upon your arrival; till then, mark my words
I will be changed for the better 'samo za ti'
Because I finally realized what you mean to me

Dribble
My love, my life and my all
Sometimes without you I feel so small
I feel so helpless and I feel so weak
I feel as though I will never reach my peak
I feel like I've lost all faith in life and its struggle
Like I'm too sick of life, adversities I juggle
All alone, solitary, I emote
While you watch me, you connote
I realize that regardless of the plight
Regardless of the many struggles I fight
Problems with myself, and problems at home
It all doesn't matter, I'm never truly alone
You're like an angel watching over me for all time
And I know that what ever happens you'll always be mine
So I lay around and bask in the serenity
But that in itself is never too good for me
Because when the harshness hits me; reality
I feel as though I'm again in defeat
I find myself cowering at my feet
Praying in the middle of the night
Begging god, asking him to show me light
Show me the way, give me direction
Let me strive once more, my ressurection
But god can only give me so much
It's up to me to give it that final touch
To rise up from the herd of sheep I see
To be the best me that I could ever be
In reality, beyond theory, it's helplessness
I'm a victim to my own prejudice
I'm not in tune with reality like on my own cloud
I'm too indecisive, stubborn and proud
Should I die? Should I live? Do I enjoy the pity?
What the f**k is wrong with me if I enjoy sympathy?
I should be my own man not let this burden carry on
I should practice what I write instead of writing song
I should pray, I should be consistent, I should try
I shouldn't beseech forgiveness and carry on to lie
God placed me on earth for a reason that's true
My reason to live is to carry on loving you
Forgive me for times when I'm just too f**ked in the head
You know you own my heart; there's no need to dread
I mean we'll have ups and downs and I'm often screwed
But appologies to you are well over-dued
It doesn't matter I could cry, die and bleed
But I will always love you, and I will always need
Your affection, your love, your admiration for life
And in the near future I will make you my wife
All I can do now is work hard and not let you down
I cry as I write, I feel like a clown
In a circus and everyone is laughing at my collapse
Nobody really cares about me, so I fall into relapse
So I dug myself a hole and jumped straight in
I can overcome it, I've done it once I'll do it again
I'll show the world I'll show you all
With you by my side I will stand tall
I love you for life, and that's simply it
I get frustrated, stumble, cry, bite my lip
But through out it all I'll always be by your side
And that's that. Funny, I think I just made up my mind.

Mrs. Reimers [Valentines Parody]
Yo Wassup Wassup Miss Reimers, Miss Reimers...
Driving all around with her dumped up beamers
When I first set my eyes on you
Damn I knew it was so true
Ever since I stepped into Russian History
Life for me was no longer a mystery
Damn Miss Reimers you bring out the best in me
You help us believe
You help us achieve
Let me lay down the laws, let me lay down the facts
You probably thinking' what the hell... this brother is wack
But I'm just trying to say, damn you’re so fine
Out of every girl in the world I want you to be my valentine
I would buy you a chocolate or some Malteasers
I would buy you the world, or some Nike sneakers
I would buy you anything but I'm sort of broke
Don't look at me laughing thinking its all a joke
I mean I'm a good guy and I'm a good bloke
Look at my attendance; I'm never late to YOUR class
And put your faith in me, I swear I will pass
And I'm just being sweet because guys are worth the world right?
So how about later on you and me candlelight
The dinner,
It could be slimmer
Nevertheless
You're the best
You're my number one teacher
The best thing about Sevenoaks was me getting to meet ya
Miss Reimers, What can I say, what a divine creature...

Okay let me top it off, let me finish this rhyme
Let me ask one more time, for you to be mine
You want me to go down on 1 knee? That can be done
I'll do it in History Class... Wont that be fun?
Damn Miss Reimers, you're just so fine
Thank god up in heaven, if you'd be my valentine

Remember Who You Are
I was watching the news on SBS
Watching Americans plunder merciless
Shias and Sunis we're all the same
I am a Suni and my name is Husein
But in the end, we're all brothers
We all came from Hawa, our mother
And we're all sons of Adam
So all of the hate I can't fathom

But don't worry, all in due time
We'll wake from the Kufur playing our minds
It's all been written it'll all unfold
We already knew they'd steal the black gold
And war will reign for years to come
But it's our time to unite as one
Brothers and Sisters we're all together
Don't be manipulated by the Kufur's blether

Be strong and don't be influenced by the haram
Remember who you are, and look at who you've become
Suni and Shia; there's no difference between us
Rise together as one, don't let them restrain us
In this opression, my confession, is I haven't been the best
But as long as you remember, Allah is above the rest
Love one another, together we are strong
This solid love has been at hand all along

We need to wake the Umma, and connect again once more
We must; If not remember all of the suffering you saw?
It will tripple; god will question our integrity
And by then it'll be too late to rightfully see
What could have happened and what we could have done
It's our final chance to unite again as one

Ya Allah make it easy for the Umma Ameen!
If only this hatred could have been foreseen
But it has! Yet we stand and watch our fate
The time to react is now, before it gets too late...

Delusional
As the future beckons
I got no sense of direction
And with the way that I'm messing
It's the cause to all this extra stressing...

If you can believe u can achieve; but what is my goal?
Right now my mind is set on getting out of this hole
What I do next, I might regret
So what should I do to get my mind set?

Some things I'm sure of; like me and you
Other things I'm not, like what I want to do
I could leave it all now, but what about later?
Will it change the end, to who will you cater?

If I leave right now, will I succeed in the end?
Because I want to make you happy; bring in the dividends
But I just want the best out of you and me
Do you think it was a mistake that I left AIC?

There's no love here, but am I ever happy?
When I think about it I only care about you and me
I should stay in school, but should I leave home
I'll do anything as long as you don't leave me all alone

Maybe I'm just delusional because I miss you so
Wont this prove to you, that I won't ever let go
Not that that needs proving, I just love you so
You're so beautiful and wonderful, and you're the best
Nevertheless, Every second is like a stab in my chest
When will the hurt rest? And fix up inside
Is God giving me a test? Let me resign
In my soul this love infests; until the day I die
So lord if you hear me I beseech you and plea
Why did you bestow this flawless angel upon me?
Was it to see me suffer? I can't bare it no longer
And every second without, my heart remains fonder
And like a river flowing; I can't see its end
She's my all; my Lover, my wifey, my best friend

In times of desperation, I just think about you
It keeps my head together, so everything stays true
And you doubt that I miss you at times; that's lame
When you aren't around I'm literally going insane
Ya habibti, Ya Hilwati, ya all of the above
I send you my soul, my heart and my endless love
I give you my life and by god you deserve more
I love you so much, and I can't help but adore
The way you do what you do, and I need you; I implore
And it won't stop, it won't end; forever yours, forevermore...

Memba Me?
Memba me? Kickin it back in AIC
Didnt rock up on monday coz i was watchin TV
Memba when we had our s**t tight
If anyone beefed, id be the 1st to fight
I'd back you up, and your boo
I was your homeboi so true
I was the only one that had your back
And now you're lookin at me like I'm wack
You think my life's gone all off track
But you know what's the real facts
I don't even know you anymore
You're kickin it with all your whores
Them hunnies, hustling money
Damn aint it funny?
Nigga I was your brother
Your mother was my mother
I would shed tears of blood
Through the thick and thin
From my heart within
I was your bro
And deep down you know

Memba me? You use to call me indo..
You thot I was tight wit ma lyrica lingo
You liked my style and my white cap
Look at me now, you be callin me wack
Back in the day..
What can I say?
I was the main man in the crew
And I claimed you, to be ma boo
And you said when everything was through
If everyone was against me you'd still be true
What happened to that?
Where's all the facts?
You don't feel me
You don't call me
You know its all me
But you dont, and you wont, and you cant see
After three years, Husein... that's still me

Memba me? Back in CCC
Smokin' chronic, sippin hennessey
Told me you saw the best in me
So when I got paid
You got me laid
After the candle-light
Dinner in the night
We kicked it back at your mama's crib
She didnt even say s**t
She knew I was aiight, and you were feelin me too
Remember back then, you use to call me your boo
But hey s**t's changed you say?
That was then... and today is today?
It's fine, you no longer mine
But you can't blame a nigga for trin'
I aint lyin'..
When I say I still think of you
But wtf do you expect me to do?

Memba me? from the streets of QP
We got drunk at the rec wit bacardi
We laughed at our lives, how f**ked its all been
How friends can f**k you over, how life's all mean
How everyone f**ked us over, calling us obscene
Don't pretend like you don't reminise
On that time we was tipsy and I kissed your lips
How you told me you loved me, and you always had
How you un-did ma pants, and said you wanted me bad
How we did what we did in your mum's room
How we did what we did under the stars and the moon
How we'd stay up late and dine
How we'd get f**ked over, sippin' cheap wine
How you told me I'm yours, and you're mine

Just trying to make you remember
I aint tryna offend ya
I aint tryna diss
I'm not takin the p**s
I'm jus reminising on the times
When you use to listen to my rhymes
When you use to smile and giggle
In the bed you'd wiggle
Actin' like you do
And I know we're through
Just tellin you I still thinking
Walkin' past you in the streets winkin'
I'm still indo, I'm still Husein
I'm still the playa wit all the game
I'm still the don, I'm still the QPK
So do you remember me? What more can I say...

No More
Thank god my brothers; I am finally leaving the hell-hole AIC
I picked wicked subjects like Business Information Technology
Now I'm with my girl; and damn is she's a stunner
For seven months now, she keeps working her wonders
And I'll be sitting down laid back for the first time in years
Giving nothing but empathy to my left behind peers
All stuck up in the sad old AIC
But that's their fate unfortunately
And while I chill back in this new institution
They'll be stressing so hard with no real sollution
For their stresses, in the messes
In the confinment of that place
And I'll be gone; without a trace

No more somalian wannabe homie Gs
No more dodgy 6ft tall arab security
(Who in fact is secretly an illegal refugee)
No more hiding away to smoke a ciggie
No more 7 forced subjects while doing TEE
No more finding an Iraqi to scab a winnie blue
No more dodgy science labs, the F-block and C2
No more assembly starting from 8 in the morning
No more waking up to the sound of an AIC bus horning
No more dodgy c**ts in the exam rooms trying to crack a joke
No more ESL immigrants; with no English and no hope
No more slow days passing, looking at the time go by
No more dodgy canteen food, meat pies with complementary flies
No more pushing in the canteen line to make it to the front
No more of that underground racism; brother yahya the fat c**t
No more negative slips from Grahame Clancy
No more religious girls with their promiscuity
No more land of bulls**t promises of opportunity
No more countless races; afghan, indian and iraqi
No more scarved bitches, and their blatant profanity
No more little hairy teens, making out behind the library


No more walkin down the corridors in the mi'l of the day
Wondering whether or not there'll be security coming my way
No respect in that place, no space for someone like me
In a cage like AIC, you're hopeless with no destiny
To leave was my only option to become the best of me
Even when I tried so hard, nobody chose to see
But regardless of my plight; situations may vary
I won't stay in place where all the bitchs are so hairy
I mean it doesn't really matter if they're so scary
But I'm moving on now from dark days, to the soon merry
No more lots of s**t; how real is this going to be
No more whithered up life, attending blaspheme AIC

An Ethical Crisis
You're standing in the mall; no one is around
You see just one girl; you hear but no sound
It's like everything goes black and white and only she's in view
You lose your sense of reality and you forget what you are to do

You sit for a while looking at this fine honey
You wonder whether you got enough money;
To buy a drink or so,
For you and that fine hoe.

Let reality harshly awaken
That fine girl is obviously taken
And above that you have a wife
And you remember promising her your life

Thence don't contemplate
Or bother to frustrate
Whether she smiles of frowns
During her ups and downs
It shouldn't matter to you
You're love is supposedly true
She gave you her life and her wonderous soul
She put warmth in your heart when it was whithered and cold
She took you as you were and asked for no more
She didn't care how you talked, or of the clothes you wore
She promised you forever and smiled at it too
She was your one true love, and deep down you knew

All I'm saying is before you go and say "hi"
To that girl over there that apparently looks so "fly"
Take a deep breath and think about your girl
Think about all you've been through; she's your world.
Picture the retrospect of it all
How you use to hold hands in the mall
How you use to play in the beach; kissing in the water
How you would sit and joke about your future sons and daughters
How you love her with all your heart
And how you would never wish to be appart

Now look twice at that fat ass
Think rationally and let that slut pass
Think twice; she looks like you're friend's mum
Now aren't you proud of what you have just done
Pussy was in your face and you just said "No!"
Better then that, you labelled her a street hoe
Dont worry about her you've got it made
The only thing that girl had was herpes and aids

I want to die
Summoner of Death,
Granter of disease.
Owner of my final breath
I beseech you please.

Help me in my final hour
Let me rest peacefully evermore
Rid me of a death vastly gour
Inflicting hurt one never saw

Let my dead mouth bleed
Through my pale dry lips
On my corpse may all feed
'Till no longer my blood drips

Let hot steel pierce my flesh
Let my head crush on gravel
Rip appart the wrangled mesh
Of my mind, let it unravel

For to end my life is to end my soul
And to finalize all emotion
Kill me now, I'll pay the toll
Lest I ever forget your devotion

This Sister of Mine
This sister of mine
Worth a million dimes
In fact she's priceless
Because when I'm mindless
She tells me how to be
Reassures me so I can see
Takes me to a place where I smile
Even if it is online just for a while
She fixes me up, and helps me reconcile

I love her for that; thank you so much
You've were here when things were so tough
And I guess in a sense I was there too
You know that I try to be there for you
But I think your love is beyond compare
Im so grateful for all the times you were there
When I wouldn't listen and I would cry
And you'd continuously pester me; asking me why?
And I shun you down so many again and again
I was so cold; I don't really know how to begin
How to say thanks, how to say sorry?
How do I tell you not to worry?
When it's obvious you do and I do too
It's mutual you know, I do love you

Thank you for the long nights where you'd help me out
Thank you for being patient when you feel the need to shout
Thanks for the mediation, and making me feel well
Thanks for it all, Making a life out of this hell
I appreciate your friendship, the sister you are
Never forget that when you need me I wont be far
I want to be there to pay you back for all the good you gave
I want to make you smile, even if that means I have to behave
I want to show you that you're appreciated and remind you all the time
Simply because I'll forever be grateful, grateful of this sister of mine

My Father and I
I remember days when I wouldn’t go home
I didn’t have a place
My family hated the look on my face
To them I was a stranger, a boy misplaced
An indisputable cost
Drunk, stoned and lost
A waste of space
Just another disgrace

My future was dubious
My mentality incurious
Trying to find problems with nothing
Making nothing a problem
Left alone to solve them
Life was a drugged blur
Relatives continue to murmur

The hate in me grew
Kamal makes me spew
He's a worthless coward
Sort of like John Howard
The way he diverts his issues
Comes back saying he misses you
He never deserved my mum
She deserves more freedom
He's the worthless one, not me
Soon everyone will be able to see
Husein Alaydrus is thirty times the man he'll ever be
I think to myself why do I get exploited
Every single one of my liberties were voided
But I'm happy to know I'll be better
Once I unchain myself from the fetter

Days pass on like minutes; he isn't here
I get older and soon Kamal I no longer fear
I get smarter, his worthlessness becomes evident
His cowardly self becomes more and more apparent
I honestly do not know why
I let it slide; I let it go by
After all the pain and anger he put me through
I decided that I didn't want all the love due
I decided my time was worth more than to reconcile
He would never change; I don't need a father anymore

Then to Now
The world is a crazy place to be
It has made me happy and stressed
Many things happen spontaneously
In the end I have been truly blessed

I remember when I was expelled
I left and came back to it all
A larger force then compelled
My life, and I answered its call

I now so strongly believe
That there is reason behind all occurrences
Beneath enigma I conceive
There lays truth and logical coherences

Hatred grew to friendship
Which later grew to affection
Now I bask in our kinship
I can't explain our progression

Circumstances are never forever
So you should never cry my darling
Loving you makes my soul tremor
And eternally you shall remain smiling

My soul is yours, and my heart and devotion
You've captured my spirit and all of my emotions
I'm yours without end; let it be known evermore
And my love will forever increase each day more and more

Don't f**king Leave Me You Tramp
Time to take off the shackles of hell
Time to leave the prison and finally dwell
bask in happiness of eternal emanicipation
like you were finally given the key to elation
No more misery in the hell hole of AIC
Five years of unhappiness and now your free

You finally finished your sentence of anxiety
Finally as you leave the god forsaken penetentary
I ask just one favour from you all..
Regardless of your adversities big or small..
Always remember that throughout it all there will be Husein
For you to lean on when your stressin out or when your in pain

Because Azra you've been there for me through thick and thin
And I can never truly express the gratitude I feel within
So when your above us, lookin down from heaven so boundless
Know that we're down here.. remembering you with greatfulness
And you've left your footprints in my heart
So the inevitable has came and we must part
but I don't care I'm still going to be around
To keep you company and lift you up when you're down

Your off to university for better things in life
While I'm still locked for another year of strife
We'll be living in two seperate worlds once again
But I'll never forget the impression you left within
So I'll pray for you every night and wish you all the best
Hope that you come through it all, pass all of your tests
Do your family proud, and become successful and great
Because in the end of the day it's your inevitable fate
I haven't known you for long, but you mean heaps to me
And inevitably has came into play, you're leaving AIC..

I wish I was put up a grade so many years ago
So you wouldn't need to leave behind your bro
But don't worry I'll work my hardest to make you so proud of me
And you'll be sitting by me everyday in heart, as I stress on TEE
And stay up late, doing assessments, worrying myself to sleep
Thinking about how your sleeping, on that bed you rub your feet
So you'll be proud of me and I can fulfill all that you expect from me
And one day we'll unite again, and when that time comes we'll be free

I want this to touch you inside, like you've done to me
I want you to remember that I'm still down here in AIC
I want you to know that I'll always be there for you
Every word I've ever said to you has always been true
You've given me a friendship that will never be forgotten
And when you want to call me late, you've never been a burden
I like talking to you, you always make things swell
And it's nice the way you always ask if I'm feeling well
And once again I'll say you've left foot prints in my heart
You're name's been tanted on it, so even though in reality we part
Your presence will remain strong, standing by me within
And honestly I'm so proud of you, I wouldn't know where to begin
You went through a lot, and I cry tears of joy for you
You've made me so proud azra, and I'll always love you

14th of November
Such a Bonita not knowing what your worth
It’s Monday the 14th, the day of your birth
When god sent an angel down onto this earth
Gave her the name, Azra, so sweet to my ears
Be-rid all of the sorrow, and with it all the tears

I’m here to tell you, I hate it when we’re apart
You’ve meant so much to me, from the very start
You’ve always found a way of touching my heart
So I honour the day, when an angel was born
When happiness was founded and misery torn
The day an angel so pure landed on this earth
So never forget how much to me you are worth

Monday the 14th, oh how I want to rejoice by your side
Forgive me for the times that I’ve been wrong, and I lied
Because I’m forever sorry, and I wish you to see
That since day one Azra, you’ve been a part of me
And that as time goes on, our friendship will prevail
When I was down, you made me strong, I was never frail
So I remember you always, as the friend you have been
To let you know you arere appreciated, I’m always so keen

I love you from your stubby fingers to your un-brushed hair
I love you for all you have seen in me, the way you truly care
The way I look up to you, regardless of your height
And so, I’ll be standing by you regardless of the plight
Talking on the phone, until the late hours of the night
Every moment I spend with you, spent basking in delight
When I haven’t seen you in a while, it’s pain to my sight
You’re a girl like no other; to my heart you are its light
So to remind you how I feel, girl I’ve got the inclusive right

Enough with the jingle
No need to further mingle
With the catchiness of tune behind my love within
To not remind you how special and true you have been
Would be to me, the most ashamed, inexcusable sin
So I remind you once more it’s the 14th an important date
When your spirit was guided onto the earth, re-writing its fate
Thence, there is no longer, a need for you or me to contemplate
On whether this day is worthy for you or me to commemorate
The answer is so obvious the answer is true
Whenever you need me, just look beside you

If it’s the 28th or the 6th, or even the 14th of November
I’m faithfully yours, this you should always remember
And I’ll always be there to lend a shoulder or an ear
Your voice, I will surely never, be bored of to hear
I’m here for you always taint it on your heart
You’ve been so special to me, from the very start
Never forget this, I’m here for you, oh so true
In my heart, there’ll always be space for you

Another Ode
Baby, I Dont wanna be a liar
Just Wanna set your soul on fire
And fulfill every desire
That your fantasies conspire
Put your lips on mine
Feel free to take your time
Every kiss that I miss
Feels like pure bliss
Every turn, every twist
When I kiss them pretty lips
I wanna take my baby to cloud nine
Seal the contract you're always mine
And I'm always yours, let it be known
You cant question all the love I've shown
And it's all thrown into a ball and passed to you
I said don't f**kin question me, my love is so true
Dreaming that one day,
I'm gonna take you away,
Misery replaced with destiny
Going to purge the dismay
Run away, to a day,
What more can I say?
This feeling I feel it's L-O-V-E
See habibti, what have you done to me?
I'm trippin out like the benjies are too much
And when you ain't around I'm dying for your touch
For your love, for your kisses, for that feeling I feel
When we're together, f**k everything else, it's so surreal
But surreal in a good way, nothing bad you know
Treat you like a princess, because you're not a hoe
And everything In my life I can't compare
To that feeling I get when you're sitting there
On my lap, looking in your eyes, stroking your hair
And all the other things in the world, I no longer care
Because perfection, I found in 1-7-3
It's destiny, f**k the rest, you belong to me

It's All Good
School's out for summer now it's just us two
Finally your TEE is done; and my exams are through
Just one last day and then it's goin to be me and you
I got my mind on my money; I'll pick you up soon too

Going to get a job baby; going bring in some dividends
Cash is going to start flowing in; on you I'll always spend
I'll spend time, I'll spend money, I'll spend everything
Loving you, missing you, wanting you; my soul's tingling

One last exam baby; then it's three months of fun
Making s**t loads of cash; and you know you're the one
The one I miss, the one I love, the one I absolutely cherish
The one I can't do without; it's been two weeks, I want to perish

You touch my soul, you light my flame, you make me feel like never before
My boo, Azra; you give me so much joy; so it is you I'll forever adore
I miss you, I need you, I crave for your affection
Don't disregard my sentiments; or disregard my adoration

Baby I love you; and that's the bottom line
It's perfect; because I know that you are mine
I want to send you flowers, roses and kisses and more
I entrust my heart to you; I will love you forevermore

Moje srce; the stress is over; finally we are nor but one
And it's so nice to see you smile, after all the work is done
And know that I'll remain by you, by pleasant times and by dire
Because habibti it was only you, that truly set my soul on fire

Lest you Forget my Adoration
Turn the last page and it’s time for celebration
Finally the time reaches for your emancipation
The 24th marks a day of immense anticipation
The conclusive state that eliminates frustration
Liberation... as beautiful as the creation of a nation

No longer a need for re-evaluation
Or the need to review or study inflation
No longer will you dwell in degradation
As you depart from the miserable organization
Prepare to be met with the warmest salutation
Bid your final farewells to the sea of valuation
As your own liberation meets its validation

Now you leave this miserable station
Smile and forget the restless desolation
I leave you though, with a final assertion
You’ve touched me in ways beyond imagination
Such a way beyond your realization
You’ve left me in a state of gratification
Thence, I need to show my appreciation
Take it all in moderation, this connotation
All I’m trying to say is that you got my devotion
I will always be there, cherish you with affection
This is what I solemnly swear, my utmost dedication
Without hesitation, I put forth my complete consecration

Take this as a declaration; I consider your name sanctification
Everything about you will stay in my recollection
When you talk to me, I can feel inside alteration
Simply because of my complete adoration
So you’ll always be kept in a high place of adulation
And I’ll always look to you with great admiration
Because you’re simply deserving my total adoration

A Dream is but a Dream
For three days I see the same fantasy
Roses, cream, chocolates and you next to me
As these surreal dreams continue to tear me up inside
I ask for the motive behind the reality they chose to hide

As euphoric bliss distorts my feelings every hour
What chosen logic are you attempting to devour?
Am I in love? Surely not! How indecisive may I be?
Yet you visit each night; do nor but bewilder me

My fair lady from above, these visions I cannot explain
But why do I see a vision of you, time and time again?
Impossible it is, that I can begin to forget the pain
Inflicted on you once, ruining it all leaving little to remain
But from concrete grew a rose! And trust fell back in place
Dreams persist to threaten reality and these dreams I shall distaste

They persist to menace the truth, logic at its core
Attempt to bruise our friendship! Leaving it red and sore
This threat he poses to me, I simply cannot ignore
Illusions negative phenomena, my psychological flaw

These images are distinct as I cherish them by night
Bliss transcends to repulse, as the day comes into sight
Reality sets in and the imposed burden becomes evident
And what was once euphoric is no longer dubbed heaven sent

He was meaningless; he came, uninvited to the door
He came and he harmed me, my mind had began to tore
He told me to search my heart! Dark corners I had to explore
Why her? I asked questioning him, questioning forevermore

His shadow towered above meaning, and left me so confused
He tried to threaten good reason, and leave our friendship bruised
Life was no longer simplistic, as irrationality reigned
So I rendered his existence meaningless. A dream is but a dream

For my mum
I look around me for all that I care, all I can see is my mum
Throughout it all, when I was down, you have always been the one
I remember crying in grandma's bed for all the pain you been through
I was only eight years old then, but even at that age things I just knew
I know sometimes you and dad fight, but don't worry I love you still
And when your old and your hair turns grey, I'll help you when your ill
Because you've always picked me up, set me high when I was down
And forever I'll do anything, to make you smile and be-rid your frown
I want to be the perfect son, the one you can treasure and admire
Because when I was falling down, you lifted me up and took me higher
Don't worry what anybody says momma, you're so special to me
You stood beside me when no one would, and you always let me be

I remember you told me when I was little, "Husein do something and be happy
I want people to respect you when your older, and be better than your daddy"
I looked in your eyes momma, I was little but of course I knew
You've been through so much for us momma and so my love stays by you
There is no love in the world, like from a mother to her son
And you believed in me momma, telling me I could become someone
I would do anything for you momma just to see you happy and young
Like you were before all of this stressing piled on top of your head
When I was sick momma, I remember you looking after me lying in bed
You sat beside me momma, telling me stories of when you played in the garden
When you were smiling, and you were young, when your life wasn't just a burden
God loves you momma, so he wont let you cry and moan
But don't leave me momma dont leave me here all alone
I want you to fulfill your life before you go to heaven up high
You belong amongst the angels, and i will follow you, when i die

I know you want lots of grandchildren momma, I'll give you thirteen
I hope that'll make you happy momma, I hope your happy when they're seen
And I've stayed in school for you momma, and I'll be rich one day too
I'll do anything for you momma, and I'll always look after and protect you
I'll always try to help momma, try and help you when I can
One day I'll make you proud, and grow up a respectful man
I want to buy the world for you momma, and get a thirteen room house
I'm only fifteen momma, but for you, when I can, I'll get a nice spouse
I love and cherish you momma, I'm your youngest son
And throughout it all momma, you've been the greatest mum
You understand when I'm upset or when I need time, all alone
You understand when I'm sad and spend too much time on the phone
You just want me to be happy, and I only want the same for you
Because you love me dearly momma, and I'll love you forever too

The only thing inevitable
The way I percieve it, reality depicts itself to me
as a circular system, a preplexed, momentous society
The trees seem grey and the people are tedious
And it's a strenuous duration of pointlessness
It's even ridiculed in video games like the sims
Like coming to terms with the pointlessness within
We grow up, we work, we pay debts and then we all die..
So why do you want to hold on to this materialistic lie..
The only inevitability in life is the truth of demise
And regardless of your thoughts, everything else is lies
So why strive for success when we could die anyday
Who's to say, that tomorrow wont be your last day?
You may be young, you may be tough, you may be six feet tall
But death comes to us all.. despite being big or small..

Death is inevitable and, so what we will die?
So why hold onto the world like its worth a try?
People die at 10, and some may die at 90..
Hence, the reasoning is there, don't mind me..
I'm going to ignore the facts, the science and the math..
I don't want to waste time and bother with all of that..
I know the only truth.. one day this life shall end..
So to make the most of it, is not to make dividends
To do something worthwhile is a lot harder to comprehend
It's a definitive concept, its universally called religion
Try to find the right one? Yeah, that would mean complication
But I'll make things easier for you and do a little explanation
The prophet Mohammad brought down for us the final revelation
For the world and all of its nations
To fix any problem or any situation
It's a way of life, universal to us all
With it in your a**enal you shall stand tall

In the last day you wont remain one of the pack
With Islam intact you can show the Kufar your back
And become exalted and find a place in paradise
You can soar amongst angels and everything is nice
Perfection is simplified and your submission to Allah is rewarded
Your life on earth is fulfilled with purpose and no longer distorted
This is the only answer, the final answer to prevail
Any other alternative will mean a painful eternity in hell

Little sister I'm here
Don't be sad your my sister so smile for me
You know your my world, so just smile for me
You know when s**t gets rough you can lie on me
And when the time comes, have faith and rely on me

We dont talk that much and god you have changed
I guess your growing up and things aren't the same
But dont worry, I understand you need some time
Just Remember I'll always be here for you anytime

Don't think I dont care because I always seem busy
Doing other things and your not spending time with me
And you should know it doesn't matter that we've drifted apart
Because regardless, you mean heaps to me and you've touched my heart

You go to school there, and I'm studying over here
But whenever you need me, I'll always still be near
I'll always pick my phone when you call, and you should too
Because despite it all, we've always held a friendship so true

So when my status is on away, and I'm busy with my books
You should never need to give my contact name a second look
Just double click on my M3wa, and we can always chat
Just promise me, when your down you'll remember that

Little asian fresh food person, studying TEE
Always remember I'm here to talk it doesn't bother me
I'm here for you when you need me, so never think that I dont care
Because you're still my little sister, and I'm always going to be there

It's Ramadan
Brothers and sisters it's Ramadan
It's a time to repent and be but one
A time to pledge forgiveness to the greatest
A time to put aside differences and races
A time for sacrificing the things that you love
To put aside desire and worship the worthy one above
To forgive and forget, and animosity is banished
To be greatful for all, and send doah to the famished
To pray for our brothers and sisters all over the world
To berid ourselves of error, and stop looking at girls!

To stop using venecular language and lower your tone
To build up our iman and strengthen the Islamic backbone
To smile at our brothers and promote peace within
To unite together and repent for all of our sins
To encourage the youth to do good for the umah
To read and practice hadiths and follow the sunnah
To read Quran and do better, do good
To promote equality in your own neighbourhood
To fast for thirty days and go without food
To liberate as one endorcing an optimistic mood
To say Assalamualaikum and wish peace on each other
To unite again strong, hand in hand, sister and brother
To worship Allah for it is him who is great
To not ponder upon the past, to accept our good fate

This is a time to be greatful for what god gave us
In the final hour, it is only him who can save us
So make plenty of ibadat, and respect your elders too
Ramadan is the holy month where you are forgiven and born new
Thank Allah for without his mercy we shall all perish
Ramadan is a gift from above all muslims should cherish

f**k your judgement and f**k you
Am I good guy? Am I filled with crap?
Do you really care whether I query that?
I smoke quiet a bit and even gunja too
Once I had 16 cones and my face went blue
I had chronic in the oval back in CCC
And our sports teacher didnt even notice me
And what about alcohol? I drank half a carton once
Tripped over my feet and called the pigs "fat c**ts!"
I cheated on my ex 7 times without a try
And I even told her I loved that was another lie..
Back in the day I went to school, in a week for one day
Selling marajuana to eight graders, thats how I got paid
Laid? quiet a few times indeed..
Even grew some weed.. with my own seeds..

Clubbin'? ahaha.. sure why not?
Couldn't afford a hotel so I did her on the spot..
Now? chillin' back in AIC
Where enemies cant bother me
Watch me.. as I stud-dee
Doing what you ask? Motherf**king TEE
Please? Do I have a mental disease..
You probably laughing out loud fallin' on your knees
But it's true, all of the above at the age of fifteen
Writting rhymes again after I finished harvesting my greens
It's Like what I did I revolutionized the mother f**king scene
and I'm back in the books
Not caring how I look
Who cares? Do I give a f**k what you think?
I smoke and I f**k and f**k yeah I like to drink..
So what? What you gonna do?
Sit around, f**k around and watch me do?
You know what? it's type like you..
That sit around not knowing what to do
Look at you, up yourself like your s**t dont stink
Like your a cut above the rest but you dont f**king think
What the f**k are you stupid? only god can judge me..
Tupac said it motherf**ker and what you cant trust me?
Look once, dont look twice or it'll fall up in your face
Stupid judging motherf**kers are a f**king disgrace..
..to your race.. your out of place..
Like a dog that cant find its home..
Lost at night all up in the streets they roam
Like you aint got a place to go..
Lost in some club wid some nasty ass hoe..
You can talk all you want it doesnt mean f**k
I wouldn't put my dollar on your sense of luck

You dumb f**k.. what you got on me? You even know my name?
Staring at me, looking at me like you already know my game
Stupid lost mother f**ker go find another hoe..
To give you a blow.. working in headjob and co.
I know! Your family.. I know your bro..
I know you aint s**t, I know you f**king low
Keep walking mother f**ker and don't turn around
Unless you want to hear the next mother f**king sound
A bullet popped on the back of your f**king head
Like you the Don in the streets but your a bitch instead
Like your momma.. like your uncle.. your all so f**ked up
Stop judging mother f**ker your thoughts are messed up..

It's your life
f**kin bitches all broken hearted
Listening to Joe all faith departed
Staring out the window like Romeo might make it
Smiling to her friends, why does she fake it?
Listening to crap like "We belong together"
Writting sappy poems with a ink dipped feather

Trying to be one with you're soul you say?
Trying to make it without love each and every day?
Trying to contemplate..
..and not insinuate
Struggle to not frustrate
In an emotional debate
With fate.
Locked down like shackles on a prisoner
Like time is you're heart's last reasoner
Everything beside you is meaningless and life is hell
So you sit and you stare and you cant do nothing but dwell

Hey its your life.. pick: now or never
Get off your ass you aint gona live forever
And you should know by now guys are just s**t
Like the stench of sweat coming off an armpit

It's your life.. stop listening to dodgy love songs
Like as if "Prince Charming" going to actually come along
Don't you know that s**t happens and life goes on..

So don't just mope
Baby don't lose hope
Life goes on
Come sing my song
Live it up
Tomorrow is gone
And you should have knew all along
That it doesn't matter its all in you
f**k that stupid prick that love wasn't true
It's not important anymore
Now he's out the f**king door
He treated you like a f**king whore
You don't deserve his incompetence
His extravagant absense
Without a conscience
Ripping your heart and letting it bleed
Making you cower on your f**king knees
Gasping for breathe in an eternal struggle for dreams
In a surreal world with dillusional and distorted themes

The situation was final and it's your call now
You can sit and sob or get over that fat cow
Your better than that you always have been
And its something that you should have always seen
But you cant change the past but the present is there
So make a difference now and just learn not to care
Because he doesn't miss you and he didn't love you too
Hence, delete the SMSs and the emails they weren't true..
Rip up the letters and throw the presents away
Contemplate, Its truley his loss not yours anyway

Make it final.. make it end..
The pain he caused he shall never comprehend
The final error was too much to bear
And he doesn't give a f**k if your not there
So life shall go on, and its yours to write
Regardless of the times he wasn't there at night
When he wasn't on the phone or by your side
Thats what made tension and inevitability collide
You must know it was foreseen this weary end
Now just sign the diary with your finest pen
And close the book of hopelessness, you see
Because life without him should be ecstacy

Rapt in Remorse
I sat down reflecting on my compunctions of life
Reminiscing on circumstances where I put others in strife..
Things I regret, and that should have never been
And I remembered a girl, that I had upset as a teen

I had a friend, she was so pure
I was thirteen, my mind immature
She was an angel so I made her mine
But naivity ruined friendship divine

I was sorry for the pain
But I was young and I was vain
(..and at times without a brain)
But I didn't know I caused her sorrow
Our friendship remained, although hollow..

Worthless, stupid, puerile as I was
I didn't appologize for the distress because..
I thought misery would fly away on the wings of time
And in the end that friendship would once again be mine

Nonetheless everytime we bask in conversation
My mindset is deluded with nor but hesitation
And I sit down and ponder upon the situation
And come up with nothing but raw frustration

She was once my boo, she was once my friend
But I did her wrong, and I'll regret that 'till the end
I was young and I was dumb but that is no excuse
She didn't even critisize or chose to accuse
She just sat there when I broke her heart..
Thinking I was a jerk from the very start..

And indeed I was naive, careless, dim-witted, and immature too
So wrapped up in my life that I forgot about a friendship I had to renew
I forgot a friend that I adored, that meant the world to me
I forgot someone so special and just decided to let things be

And yeah we still talk here and there but things aren't the same
It's like I remember all the pain when I hear the sound of your name
And you probably forgot but it's something I'll always regret
I try to understand the depth and what I did and I'll never forget..
But when I think about it, you were the one that always made me smile
The one that made me forget about all of my troubles for just a little while..

..The one that always knew how to brighten up my day
The one that use to hold on to every word I use to say
The one that shone light into my life and made everything so clear
Someone that through out it all I still percieve to be so dear

So I hope one day we can again be so close
Tranquillity complimenting contentment foremost
Happiness will escalate and sorrow will be no more
And we can be friends again? serenity forevermore...

Liquor like a Four Leaf Clover
Once I had a screwed up day
Then I took a sip of Aleze
And all my troubles drifted away
The next day was worse I was so sad
A few shots of Jim Beam made me so glad

After a few hours I was once again sober
Alcohol brought luck like a four leaf clover
I could talk I could smile and everything was great
Like a few shots of Walker re-wrote my gloomy fate
Like a bit of whiskey took away the reasons to frustrate
A priceless fluid I would never ever consider to rebate
Like the answer to a prayer as blaspheme as it sounds
A quick drop of liquour, serenity for just couple of pounds
Like drunkenness is synonymous with happiness and your troubles are no more
Like it brings a glitter into your spirits and my advirsities fly out the door

So I was sober and I found myself looking at the trees
Looking at all the birds flying amongst the bees
Looking at the children playing in the park
Hearing the dogs at night barking in the dark
Looking at the world.. What a miserable place to be.
I felt I needed to brighten it up with a shot of Whiskey
I needed that stuff everyday to keep my head up
Like without the liquour my life I'd simply give up

So now I'm a bloody alcoholic and I drink all the time
Like when I need it so badly I would spend my last dime
It's kind of sad, there's no substitute.. it keeps me there
Like it's the only bitch in my life that can actually care
Makes me smile.. makes me glad.. make me happy all over
Brings luck and goodwill in my life like a four leaf clover

Forgotten Friends
If you are one of my friends,
Remember you're never forgotten.
Friendship will remain everlasting,
Like an apple that never turns rotten.

We can argue and we may fight,
You can even yell at me.
But regardless of the plight,
My pledge remains with integrity.

Then one day we may never talk,
But our memories I will always hold.
Because their significance is unimaginable,
The past helps the future unfold.

We may have been upset,
And gave friendship up for pride.
We could have just grown apart,
And our friendship left aside.

We probably just forgot we're friends,
You lost my number or I made you cry.
Regardless of the intricacies,
I'll regret it all until I die.

I beg forgiveness to the ones I've hurt,
I beg with sorrow, I beg with distress.
Because you were once my closest of friends,
And for that moment of joy I feel blessed.

I would like to mention your names,
But I feel shy and unable to say.
I love you all with all my heart,
I still think of you 'till this day.

Dont worry if I may seem silent,
Dont worry if we have fallen apart.
I just want you all to know,
That you'll always have a special place in my heart.

If your upset or things aren't at their best,
I'll be there to take worries off your chest.
You should call and whenever you need me I'm right here,
I'll help you out lending a tissue to wipe your tears.

All of my forgotten friends,
This poem here is for you.
Because at one stage you were my hope,
And we carried a friendship so true.

Friendship may only be a word to some,
But words cannot depict the sentiments I yearn to portray.
The friends I've made over the years,
Have made me the person, the man I am today.

And as times change, life goes on,
Things happen and people change too.
Memories of you will live on inside me,
Forgotten friends, I'll always love you.

f**k Old Arab Men
f**k old arab men, hairy c**ts, they can eat my s**t
They dont understand anything, all they do is hissy-fit
They smoke cammel and are hypocritical in everything they do
They cant even fkn talk, and they critisize you too..
This arab guy at school today told me off for talkn to a friend
What the f**k is his problem? I cannot begin to comprehend..
I wish the c**ts would all just die, theyre so shameful to my race..
They're old, they smell, they're illiterate, they're just a fkn disgrace..

So he told me "innapropriate behaviour" I'm thinking, "what the fuk did i do?"
This old f**ker is staring at me like "Yabnee.. I didnt expect this from you!"

So he asks me, "Husein how would you like it if someone did this to your sister?"
Im thinking, who the fuk is this c**t? spitting arabic at me like a tongue twister
I stand up and look him in the eye and yell, "f**k off you prick!"
He's standing, staring at me speechless, so I told him to "suck my dick!"
Everyone was just staring, thinking, "Woah.. Husein calm down!"
I humiliated that mother f**ker, and made him look like a clown..

Serves him right, what the f**k is he going to do, he's a worthless old f**k thats all..
I bet he abuses his kids and s**t, his wife's hairy and I bet he's dick is real small..

Anyways, whats the point I wont get into any s**t you'll see..
They need me in my school, because there's too many dumb c**ts in AIC
Regardless of all that crap, the main thing is for me to say..
f**k them old arab f**kers, I'd rather Dr. Deria on top anyday..
And they will never assimilate me, they can die trying if they please..
f**k all of them lost c**ts that try to marry women in groups of threes..

f**k the aftermath, come what may I dont really care..
I'm tired of these old b*****ds with no english and no hair..
nothing to show for themselves, just an abusive scar and family
I don't need that s**t.. I want to go to school in serenity..
I want to be able to laugh, and smile, and talk 2 whomsoever i please..
Not get told off by some illegal immigrant f**k with a sexually transmitted disease..

But its inevitable, In the end AIC will always be filled with old arab pricks..
These ugly, smelly, stupid, worthless mother f**kers that suck on dead dog's dicks..

Let me take you
Baby let me take you somewhere, very far away..
Somewhere where there is no sound, but still the light of day.
Somewhere where the sun is warm, and the grass is green and long,
A place where worries are no more, and the birds come to share their songs.

A place of solitude and magnificence selected carefully..
Where there's not a person in sight, perfection, you and me..
Where perplexity and turmoil coexist with us no more..
A place abundant with serenity and tranquility galore

As I reminisce of our moments, and our very first kiss..
I had lost my sense of direction as anxiety ceased to exist..
By the lake on Friday the 16th will be a day I'll never forget..
The moment contenment became limitless and our lips finally met..

Ma boo.. ma candy.. ma precious slice of cherry pie..
my lovable, my cherished, my baby i cant lie..
my sweetheart.. my darling.. ma angel from above..
u've given me so much joy, and in return i give u my love

End this bitter or end this sweet, I'll end it with a thought..
Everytime I stand by you, the distress and anguish begins to distort..
You make me feel such blissfulness, a joy that should never end..
A feeling you call love.. something i only began to comprehend.

Relying on your love...
im tired im sleepy but ure on my mind
im waitin for nuttin just lookin at the time
i got nuttin on ma head just nothing and u
standin on the front porch smokin ma winnie blue
wonderin why i feel so good wen nuttin is new
thats wen the thought hits me, and it seems so true
so true that i feel helpless and lonley without u
and wen u talk 2 me i feel real good like nuttins bad
and wen ure not around i cant help but begin to feel sad
but yeh, i noe u sacrafice a lot just to be with me
and i noe that u love and adore me so its easy to see
that i should be greatful for everythn u say and do
because without u life just seems wack and through
but yeh a poems a poem and theyre good 2 show how i feel
to express my inner thoughts and tell u wats the deal
and the deal is simple, and the deal is this..
every moment i spend with u its just pure bliss
because i cherish u with everything i have in ma heart
and i would hate it if one day we would just fall appart
but that isnt going to happen because i wouldnt let it be..
time is meaningless, and regardless u shud noe ure a part of me..
and wen u smile ill smile too and wen ure sad ill also be glum
coz i adore everythn about u, from ure eyes to ure lil stubby thumb
and i noe thats lame, but hey the truth is there..
i love ure everything, and i aint gonna share..
coz i want u all for me, and thats just how it is
i want me 2 b the only man to ever get to touch ure lips
i want me to be there for u and bring u up wen ure down
i want me to be the one that brings a smile and berids a frown
coz i care for u heaps.. and thats wats true..
im thinkin, what the hell wud i do without u boo..

Why wont AIC see?
12:59 AM 7/09/2005

school is the worst place to be
education was boring since yr3
i hate sitting in class with mr. clancy
or learning about WWII in history..
why wont they just let me be?
Cant they at least pretend to see?
SEE... that i do not want to be...
BE... another drone in the majority...
the SEA! of everlasting opertunity...
is nothing to Mee.. besides blasmaphy...
I'd rather sit under a TREE!
Listening to Run DMC or 213!
Than studying crap like GnT!
what's that u say? f**k THE TEE!
Stupid old AIC... trying to revolutionize the minority...
why wont they let us be..
can they not see me?
i hate econs with miss vani..
and so does every single somali...
SEE? before we came 2 this country..
we were KINGS and QUEENS not fkn monkeys!
down down yahya thats what we scream...
burn down the school.. the universal dream!

Be here for you..
When I smile and look at you..
I'm not telling the truth..
Because deeper inside
There's more that I hide
This smile is a tear
And happiness is grief
Because deep within me
I pretended to be
Somethin other than true
Until i met you, and then..
I finally realized
Theres no need for disguizes and
I love you so, and ure all that i noe..
So we can share a moment or two..
Nothing around just me and you..
Despite all my pain..
And the tears and the rain..
I want to be happy for you..
And do all i can do..

To just..

Make you smile and make you see
That for eternity its just you and me
On a one-way-street with a ticket to be..
Whatever destined in sight
I'll walk through the night
Just to see your face or just hear your voice

Or can i feel your touch? because to me you're so much..
And you should comprehend, that I never want this to end..
For one day we shall, fly away and then, you will see..
That initially u were a part of me and that wud neva change..
From when we embark untill we end, becoz even though i do..
The things i do, and u, hurt within because of my life of sin..
i will always be just for you, to help you through, any adversity..
Just you and me, so i say your name, and theres no more vain..

It's for the world to see, i'm no longer in misery, because
With you here, i feel so goddamn real and u, make me smile..
When times are ill, so we can spend the night or do what you do..
because regardless of anything I'm going to be here for you..

15 'till 44
12:04 AM 8/09/2005

~15 'till 44~

My name is Husein.. I'm 15yrs of age..
When I Transcend to 16 i'll be out of ma f**king cage..
That's right my good friends, I will be leaving home..
It's all for a good cause however, because i won't live alone..
I'll be elidgable for centerlink getting 0 every week..
And whenever i want KFC.. I'll always have chicken to eat..
No matter what you say, nothing can change my choice..
This is the inevitable end, where boys throw out their toys..
Where kids become men, and games are of no more..
Where they're seen as adults, and must abide by the law..
Where independance is your duty.. and nothing else come wat may..
where your mother will no longer pack ure lunch, or put your shirts away..
When you finally become a man, living on centerlink in a flat..
Maybe it's just controversial and life isn't really just like that..
But f**k what all them old c**ts say, im going to move out for sure..
And no I wont have a party, with the shabab, alcohol and whores..
No im sorry I'm more civilized, and I think just for the cause..
Imagine eating as much as i want, i noe I'll always be at the stores..
Ok I'm talking too much s**t, this is never going to happen for sure
I'll probably still be livin with my mum.. till i turn 44!

You've always babe
she's everything to me.. from the top to the end..
feelings like this, ive never been able to comprehend..
she makes my head float and ma stomach churn with delight..
she's the last thought on my mind at the end of every night..
without her by my side i'd be another soul lost in the midst..
just to hear her voice offers my heart so much bliss..
i luv her with all my heart.. but i dnt understand why..
ive never felt like this.. feelings so strong, i wana cry..
but i wont becoz she's always here by my side to make me feel good..
always make me smile and always put me in the mood..
always make me feel special.. and always show me the light..
always stand by my side everyday and every night..
always re-assure me.. and always believe in everything i do..
always love me for everything i say and every single thing i do..
u've been my shining star and brought light into my heart..
u've picked me up wen i was struggling in the dark..
u've done everything for me.. just being there is enough..
stood beside me wen things r good.. n wen goings get tough..
and now u noe how i feel.. and i noe how u feel too..
things hav neva been betta and i finally feel so true..
i feel complete from the outside and from within..
without u by my side.. i wouldnt noe where 2 begin...
i love u always from the bottom of my heart..
and now ure by my side.. i wud neva want us 2 part..

All I want but wont be true...
i want somebody.. anybody.. she doesnt need a name..
i just need this girl to know me well and still dub me, sane..
for her to listen to me wen no1 will lend an ear..
for her to re-assure me, telling me there's no need to fear..
for her to sit beside me and make me smile all the time..
for me to hold her tight and her 2 tell me that she's mine...

someone to walk me to school and sit beside me in class..
someone to make sure i learn and to share the joys wen i pass..
for her to break the shackles of sorrow and brighten my life once more..
for her to make me gleam with joy.. and take away the sore..

but such a girl doesnt exist.. its all just a thought..
a person of such compassion, of such an empathetic sort..
so ill sit alone by the patio.. smoking this winnie blue..
dreaming about a dream that would probably never come true..

Why do I bother with school?
my sole ambition is to achieve my very best..
but studyin hard day and night just results in restlessness..
i cant focus or concentrate, my mind is too unclear..
and everytime i wanna start i begin to shed a tear..
for i cannot stand this adverse.. this stress is just to much..
how i long to end this troubled cause, a dream of an irrational such..
nonetheless, i carry on.. from monday to friday 'till i die..
learning crap and more crap.. moreover, we dnt ask why..
why do we carry on? TEE and all this hardship..
Why do we even bother, wen we can jus get an aprentiship..
why do we take the crap that br yahya gives us every session?
Why do we listen to magar wen he just yells at us for our supposed transgression?
why am i still here, wen all my friends left a long time back..
why do we even bother.. wen all the teachers in our school r slack..

Pn'L and Huda
Year 11 pnl is the bestest class..
Im the top student, but its so hard 2 pass...
and in a month or so we got our inquiry project due..
Im doing Drug Legislation, and so is Anwar too..
There's 2 somalis in our class, and they make half the noise..
We're tryna learn bi-cameralism, and theyre acting like little boys!
Boshra 'n Huda are cool.. they sit beside each other every day...
Unfortunately Boshra hates me.. coz i told MR. Clancy he was gay...
HE's our irish teacher.. a fkn white boy nerd..
He's so geeky and he also favours hakar, the kurd..
Hosna and Tamina the afghans are sitting on high Bs..
Which is better than vani's class.. every1's on Cs..
but yeh im happy in pnl.. we study hard like everyday..
Clancy's always complainin, yet he's the one gettin paid..
I wish i could get top student coz i wana study law..
but i didnt go 2 school 2day.. coz ma head was sore..
but im chattin 2 huda.. and she's helping me think this rhyme..
sorry bout the fact that its pretty crap this time..
I wish i could be inspired with a way of words..
At least i hav a life, unlike the majority of nerds...
pnl is cool i guess.. mr. morgan will teach us next year..
i heard he's so mean n s**t.. somethn we all ought to fear...
but i better go offline.. so i can study for my test...
sorry huda if this stank.. u noe it wasnt ma best =)

Endings that never end..
Inevitable demise, like winter into spring...
But my thoughts will never end.
Regardless of your sentiments and feelings,
You'll always be more than my friend

I still reminisce on the time,
When we were together hand in hand.
I long for you to be mine,
To become once again, my man.

Every minute is an hour,
Every day is like a year.
Every sweetness is a bitter sour,
Without the presence of my dear.

Regardless of the times,
When we use to fuss and fight.
I just want you to know,
I still think about you every night.

Now ill end this piece,
With some words that never amend;
I loved you from day one...
And ill love you to the end.

True Love
When your name touches my ear,
It leaves a shiver down my spine.
For you to me are very dear,
You are the love of mine.

I think about you all the time,
Feelings and emotions so great.
Why? Oh why can’t you be mine?
How much longer must I wait?

When I look up at the stars,
I seem to always remember you.
Knowing that you aren’t far,
Lets all the hard times pass through.

And even though you don’t have feelings,
My love will stay true.
And even though you’ll never care,
I will always be right by you.

Poisoned Mind..
So I woke up this morning,
And you were in my thoughts.
It came without a warning,
A thought being of sudden sort.

It came again during diner,
On my mind, your pretty smile.
Honest to god I’m not a sinner,
Because love is truly not vile.

I cannot think of anything other,
Than your sweet voice and its tone.
Closer to me than my mother,
You’ve turned me into a drone.

And now I stare out of the window,
You have taken over and poisoned my mind,
But I never think of the sorrow,
For you are an angel of the sweetest kind.